I've never understood why some people have an issue with interracial dating. As a heterosexual male, I find women attractive. I reserve the right to romantically pursue whoever I choose. There are some people who feel that I should only desire a black woman because I am black. I don't care about those people's preferances but for them to force those beliefs on me is offensive. I don't see what a black woman can offer me that a white or hispanic woman couldn't other than her darker complexion. And if I get hung up on physical characteristics, doesn't that make me superficial? I've heard a number of black women say "white women take our good black men". This is not slavery, where blacks were kidnapped. If a black men dates a white woman, it's most likely by choice. Also if a man isn't interested in you personally, why do you care who he dates? When I am asked my feelings on interracial dating, here is the answer I give: if I like a woman but she has a boyfriend, I am displeased no matter what race he is. If I don't want a girl, I couldn't care less about who she dates.
In the end it's about being happy. And finding a companian is precious. To let race stand in the way of love does everyone an injustice. What are your thoughts? Please share.
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Ever since I can remember I was always taught that interracial marriage causes problems for the children. I was told that mixed race children would get made fun of in school and have a horrible life. Whether or not this was truly the motive behind the "rule," I was forbidden from ever dating a person of color. I still am. Some people may say that I am my own person and have the power to make my own decisions as well as the freedom to date who I choose. It sounds so easy, too easy in fact. It is amazing how much was done to prevent me from dating a person of color. One harmless attempt, lead to threats and taking away important parts of my life. Even now I look back on that experience as being extremely painful. A turning point in my relationship with those who tried so hard to control my life. Honestly, to this day I see those controlling people differently than I once did.
ReplyDeleteNow I do have more freedom simply because I am more independent. Yet, I feel that such an experience has had a great effect on me. I find no problem whatsoever with interracial dating and to deny someone a potential love is cruel and causes so much pain. Even today I struggle with issues that such an experience brought about.
If only we were allowed to make our own decisions ALL the time in life...sigh...There are pressures all around us composed of family, friends, teachers etc. all telling us what is right and wrong and giving us advice to point us in the "right" direction. In my experience with interracial relationships many kids are influenced by their parents' backgrounds and how they feel on the issue. They are, for most of us at least, the primary providers of all our necessities to live and prosper. My entire family was born in "the old country" (Macedonia) as my grandma calls it, and they like to push their values onto me whenever they get the chance. In Macedonia it was looked very poorly upon a family when their children did not marry another Macedonian. it did not matter if the person they married was white, black, brown, or purple if they were not Macedonian they were not OK to marry. This whole Macedonian ideal has been pushed upon me (mainly by my older grandparents who live with me) even though we now live in America. My parents are much more understanding and partially believe what Kindred said is true. They just want me to be happy, but if I marry a Latina girl and the relationship goes bye bye, don't think they won’t hold the whole not marrying a Macedonian ideal against me. The pressures that tell us it's ok or not ok to have an interracial relationship are everywhere around us. It's our job to filter out what WE believe and use our knowledge to make educated decisions. That being said, I think interracial relationships are definitely permissible.
ReplyDeleteMy roommate and I had a similar conversation not too long ago. We were watching CSI and I commented on how one of the black actors was attractive. Someone else made a comment about the racial difference, and my roommate and I discussed how race doesn't matter. There are white people I find unattractive and attractive. There are people of color I find attractive and unattractive. Thinking in terms of physical characteristics may be "superficial"...but when it comes down to it, it is a reality of our social lives.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of interracial dating being harmful for families and society never occurred to me until discussing the matter in this course. My first relationship in high school was with an Asian American, and for the entirety of our relationship it never occurred to me that our relationship might be frowned upon by some because of our racial differences. Perhaps the fact that we never discussed the difference in our races just serves as evidence to my ignorance of racial issues in high school.
ReplyDeleteInterracial dating is such a sensitive topic I feel like. I guess my way of looking at things is if two people have a connection, their race should not hold them back from exploring it. This topic kind of hits home for me because I had a very close friend who was involved in an interracial relationship for two years. Her parents just made the situation impossible, which really surprised me because every time I have met this girl’s, they have been so warm and including. I was amazed when I found out that they said that they would disown my friend if she and the guy ever got married. It was just horrible and it torn her apart because she is really close to her family and loves them. In the end, she broke it off with the guy.
ReplyDeleteI think that when it comes to dating, people should mind their own business. If you find someone who makes you happy that is all that matters. It doesn't matter what color skin they have, and people that think it does make me really sad.